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Um, now, Donald...

With frustration growing at the apparent lack to progress towards the hover boards they were promised in the 1989 movie Back to the Future II, Americans took to the polls to elected Donald Trump as the 45th President of the Unit States of America, declaring “We want something from that movie to be real, and if it ain’t power laces and hoverboards, we’ll take Biff Tannen’s Hill Valley.”

Voter and Chicago resident Tom Murrey said “The American people are tired of waiting! Our time is now. We ain’t got no hoverboards, my jacket won’t dry itself and I can’t hydrate a pizza in 10 seconds! We’ve had enough!”

“The Cubs won the World Series and that felt great!”

When confronted with the fact that everything he referred to was in the original timeline of the movie and it was, in fact, a split in the spacetime continuum due to Marty McFly’s irresponsible behaviour that led to the alternate reality of the Hill Valley hellscape, Mr Murrey responded “Don’t come at me with all your facts and detail. I’m not interested. I want that movie to be real now!”

“Trump is the man to make that future a reality. They even had a casino in City Hall. Trump knows casinos. Kick-ass, man!”

Further saying “Cubs rule!”


The Capital Building casino is expected to open in February 2017, with a planned closer due to lack of profit and numerous car fires penciled in for March 2017.

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